The idea of graduating this summer has me ready to run circles on the floor while doing the “Three Stooges” “wooh, wooh, wooh, wooh, wooh, wooh” routine much like Homer Simpson did when he negotiated a union contract and Mr. Burns told him he would meet all of his demands as long as he stepped down as head of the labor union.

In short, I’ll be thrilled…Huntsville is akin to exile.

What I’d really like to know, however, is why did the university have exterior doors put on AB4 that are designed for midgets?

Yes, I have heard of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA 90) that stipulates that all physically deviant, challenged, handicapped, retarded or just plain stupid people must have access to the campus. But damn, did the architects and bean counters have to cripple the rest of us in the process of providing access for the challenged few? A few questions if I may:

1. Does an architect or cost cutting bean counter have the common sense to know that it is a pain, literally/ergonomically for the vast majority of people to reach below their crotch to open a door?

2. What about the fact that it is ergonomic discrimination against a larger population than the handicapped when you make it hard for someone taller than six feet to open the door?

3. Also, does it become racial discrimination if you are a vertically-endowed, beautiful brother or sister?

4. Does the university or the building architects encourage the socially deviant behavior of kicking the handle to open the door by placing the handles so low? Is it a legal liability if you pull a muscle while kicking the door open or suffer a damaged knee cap from bumping the handle….a class action ergonomic negligence suit?

5. Does the university have money to burn in lost man hours of labor when the janitors have to clean extra finger smudges off the glass?

6. Will Sam Houston be upstaged by Montgomery College who had the sense to install door openers for the handicapped while the rest of us won’t become so by reaching low to get the damn door open?

AB4 is a beautiful building with doors designed for midgets, the majority speaks up about this inconvenience for a miniscule few.

The sick, lame and lazy already have more than they need of prime parking spaces misappropriated to them. Are we going to let them inflict further inconvenience and lower back strain on us when we have to open a door?

Tongue in cheek yours…